This morning a great part of the American Olympic audience went apoplectic with the news that gold medal hopeful Lindsey Vonn had injured her shin, and might not be able to compete in her specialty, the giant slalom. For those unfamiliar, this is an event that has humans careening down the side of a mountain at speeds greater than what is allowed on the nation's interstate highways, even though in that environment, competitors are equipped with seat belts, air bags and several tons of reinforced steel.
A somber Vonn looked on as an even more-somber Matt Lauer talked about her string of 'adversities'. Like, how unfair that she got hurt hurtling down a hill at more than 70 MPH.
OK, let's put this in perspective. When you suffer an injury doing this, it's not an 'adversity'...it's an 'inevitability'. If you try to walk barefoot across an acre of razor blades, when you get cut, it's not really an adversity.
And to make it even more preposterous, the Olympics have sanctioned a new version of this. Instead of one person falling down the mountain, now four will do so at the same time. And they've added jumps and moguls and more turns. That will allow more of them to suffer serious injury, and thus satisfy the blood thirst of those 'younger viewers' who find the regular events 'boring'.
So, bring it on. Let's watch more people maimed...paralyzed...or even killed. It's the perfect melding of our culture. The world's preeminent athletic competition meets the Darwin Awards. I'll be watching...but not really that closely.
I'll wait two years for the summer games...when cage fighting replaces the far-too-mellow boxing.
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